So, uh, what's new??

I really should keep up with this thing. I really mean to, but things have just been so crazy and worthless in my life, that it's pointless to try talking about them. I really have very little time to myself anymore, unless I'm sleeping.

So I'll try to start somewhat from the beginning.

I now have three boarders at my farm. They're all pretty nice, and their horses are well-behaved, so I can't complain that they're helping pay some bills. They've also given my dad the incentive he needed to start working on the barn again. Since I last posted, he laid cobblestone pavers down as the aisleway and it looks beautiful. I'll have to grab some pictures when I get a chance.

My job has been alright. It's definitely not something that I want to be doing in five years, or even one year, but the paychecks have allowed me to buy a lot of the things I haven't been able to afford for quite some time. I feel pretty wasted, mostly because I think my boss believes I'm rather incompetent. I guess it's probably better that way, though. The less I appear to know, the less responsibility I'm trusted with. Since I have way too much going on at home, I don't mind that at all.

Because of all of this, I don't find a whole lot of time to work with my horses. They're all still staying in fairly consistent work, but it's more like 4 to 5 days a week instead of 5 or 6. Patrick is pretty much on hiatus, unfortunately. I flat him maybe twice a week and jump him once in a while, just to keep him going. He really doesn't need or want the steady training, so it works for us both. He's such a fantastic little horse. The last lesson I took on him, we jumped a solid 3'3" oxer that had a 4'0" spread. It was incredible. I wish I needed a horse like him, but I've always been told that the best time to sell a horse is when you really don't want to. Well, I've reached that point! There's an 11 year old girl coming to see him on Saturday with her grandfather. She's interested in leasing him, but I have very low expectations. She only jumps 2'0" in her 4H club, and I think she's used to kick-to-go kind of rides. Patrick is uncomplicated and quiet, but he's also been in training with an (unofficial) professional since he was broke. Cross your fingers that this doesn't lead to a lawsuit...

In other news, I've officially walked away from my trainer. It was probably the hardest decision I've ever had to make. It quite literally felt like I was walking away from my dreams, but the stress of dealing with his flaky attitude was really getting to me. I guess attaching myself to him like that is really taking the easy way out, and I want to make it because I'm good enough...not because I'm good at kissing ass. So, now that I need a hefty prescription of Xanax, I'm yet again on my own. It's not so bad, because I really don't have a horse right now that I need help with. It's just tough because I know I'm starting to develop bad habits, and I don't have anyone I trust to help me out.

Nicole, is Annette still teaching lessons? Could I trailer Bella in, do you think? I keep on meaning to get a hold of you to ask!

I'm stressed. I'm depressed. What else is new?

We close on our house tomorrow morning. By noon, Nathan and I will officially be homeowners. Yay! That is something I'm excited about. It'll be nice to have our own little place to play around with. Plus, it'll give Quinn, Fiesta, and Scooter a nice place to retire (at least until I try to breed Fifi again in the spring). We're camping out there tomorrow night, so I'll get some pictures to show you all the rough get-up we're acquiring!

So, now that I'm on my own, I've laid out some shows to go to with my horses this winter. Thankfully, this show facility 45 minutes from my house does a winter schooling series with jumpers. So Bella will be venturing up there once a month to do the 3'0" to 3'3" jumpers. It's not quite the height I would like to be working on, but it's enough to keep her going until the rated shows pick up again in April. I think Patrick is going to do the hunter divisions through the winter, just because they're on a different day, so I won't have to trailer two horses up and leave someone standing around. Plus, I think he'll like that a little more as he develops this winter. I'm taking Bella to a schooling show on the 14th of November that has some money classes. It's probably only $50 if you win, but hey, it's $50 more than I have now! Plus, it's 1.15m:)

Ah, did this post sound totally pessimistic? It felt that way. I feel that way. Sorry guys!

I'll try to update more often. I forgot how much I like venting out on this thing!